Archive for August 4th, 2008



Ah Beng (Latest Version)

Ah Beng  - NEW STUFF
********************
Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
‘My
Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610′

====================================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

==========================================
Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

===========================================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I’ll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I’ll also stay with your sister.

=========================================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a ‘GOD’
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

===========================================
Ah Beng complained to the police: ‘Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house.’
Police: ‘How the thief did not take TV?’
Ah Beng : ‘I was watching TV news…’

=========================================
Ah Beng  comes back 2 his car & find a note saying ‘Parking Fine’
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole ‘Thanks for complement.’

=============================================
How do you recognize Ah Beng  in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

===============================================
Once  Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it
would
be hot.

==================================================
Ah Beng  in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says ‘Hello, how did you know I was here?’

===================================================
Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng  - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

===================================================
Teacher: ‘I killed a person’ convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is ‘u will go to jail’

=====================================================
Ah Beng told his servant: ‘Go and water the plants!’
Servant: ‘It’s already raining.’
Ah Beng : ‘So what? Take an umbrella and go.’

=====================================================
A man asked Ah Beng  why  Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and
not
in the morning  Ah Beng replied  Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

SINGH JOKES

Just for laugh.. no intimidation intended.

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his neighbor, a Singh, came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. He opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into his house.
A little later he came out of his house again, looking nervous, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house he went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here our Singh came again,looking very heated up. He marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it shut harder than ever. Puzzled by his actions, the man asked him,”Is something wrong?”
To which the ferocious Singh replied, ” There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I have mail!”
============ ========= ========= ========= ======

One Singh was enjoying the sun at the beach in America . A lady came  asked him, “Are you relaxing?” Singh answered, ” No, I am Banta Singh.”
Another guy came and asked him the same question. Singh answered, “No No Me Banta Singh!”
Third one came and asked him the same question again. Singh was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw another Singh soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, “Are you Relaxing?” The other Singh was a lot more educated and answered, “Yes, I am relaxing.”
The Singh slapped him on his face and said, Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!”
============ ========= ========= ========= =======

A Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in
education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with “T”
2. How many seconds are in a year?

The Singh thought for a few minutes and answered…
1. The two days of the week that begin with “T” are Today andTomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.
Saint Peter said, “OK, I’ll buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though it’s not the answer I expected. But how did you get 12 seconds in a
year?”
The Singh replied, “Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc…”
Saint Peter lets him in without another word.
============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window.
He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.
“Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar,” he says, ” it says here, ‘Answer the following questions in brief’ ..”
============ ========= ========= ========= =========

Two Singhs were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying like hell.
So the other asked him, “Why are you crying?” He replied, “I came here for blood test”
The second Singh asked, “So? Are you afraid ? ”
He replied, ” No, not that. During the blood test they will cut my finger”
Hearing this,   the second Singh started crying. The first one was astonished and asked him, “Why are you crying?”
To which he replied, “I have come for my urine test.”

Road Tax Re-Imburstment Claim Forms / Borang Subsidi Minyak

Dear ZBStians,

As most of you realize, Due to the HIGH increase of fuel, our Malaysian government has decided to subsidize it citizen by providing a Road Tax Re-Imburstment scheme which is valid for those who ownes a vehicle.

Attached below are the 2 copy of the document that you can use to claim.

———————————————————————

Kehadapan ZBStians,

Sepertimana yang anda semua ketahui, kerajaan Malaysia ada membuat skim pembayaraan balik/subsidi kepada semua rakyat Malaysia yang mempunyai kenderaan.

Dibawah adalah 2 salinan borang yang boleh digunakan untuk saudara semua membuat pemintaan untuk pembayaran balik.

Harapnya ia dapat membantu anda. Hope this helps.

1.> panduansubsidi.pdf

2.> borang_permohonan_rebat.pdf

Ada juga boleh dapatkan borang di sini : http://www.pos.com.my/V1/main2.asp?c=/v1/DownLoad/DownLoad.htm

Regards,

Team Admin ZBS


juz a joke

Share it with all the men out there!

Wife is like TV,  girlfriend is like Handphone (HP)

At home watch TV, go out  bring HP.

No money, sell  TV. Got money change  HP.

Sometimes enjoy TV, but most of the time play with  HP.

TV free for life but HP, if you don’t pay the services  will be terminated

TV is big, bulky and most of the time old,  but handphone is cute, slim,

curvy and very portable at any  time.

Operational cost for TV is often acceptable but for HP  is high and often demanding,

Most Important, TV got remote..  HP don’t have..

Last but not  least……. .

TV do not have virus, but  h/p yes……… .have VIRUS……. …….. once get it, terus  KONG…….. hahahahaha. …..
so better choose TV  …..  

YOU CAN’T WIN WITH WOMEN ….

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”
“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day…
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can  be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to  wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

FAKTA YG HAMPIR BENAR

1. Kondominium tidak ada kena mengena dengan kondom. Tetapi di
kondominium kita boleh dapat banyak kondom terpakai.

2. Aurat dan urat adalah dua benda yang berbeza. Namun begitu, apabila
melihat perempuan yang mendedahkan aurat, urat lelaki akan krem di
sesetengah kawasan.

3. Kuih tat enak di makan. Tapi apabila kita makan lapan keping kuih
tat, kita mungikin dituduh mencarut. Kalau tak percaya,cuba kira satu
tat, dua tat, tiga tat, sampai lapan.

4. Laksamana adalah jawatan besar di dalam kesultanan Melayu Melaka.
“Laksa kedah” pula adalah contoh jawapan kalau orang tanya kita “laksa
mana ni?”

5. Barbeque adalah makanan yang enak. Namun begitu ‘babi queue’ haram
dimakan oleh orang Islam.

6. Sesetangah orang memanggil cili sebagai cabai. Tapi kalau mulut nak
kena cabai, cuba la cakap ‘cibai’ kat depan orang tua-tua.

7. Membuat tahu sumbat sungguh meletihkan. Lebih letih lagi kalau
orang lain hanya tahu nak sumbat je tahu sumbat dalam mulut.

8. Si Bosia dan Bojan dipandang hina oleh masyarakat. Namun begitu si
Boroi yang makan duit rakyat mendapat sanjungan.

9. Bermain bola keranjang memang meletihkan. Bermain di ranjang juga
boleh meletihkan.

10. Allahyarham P.Ramlee tak pernah dapat Lesen P sebab baru
diperkenalkan. Penyanyi pop yeh yeh L.Ramli mungkin pernah dapat lesen
L. Tapi Allahyarham A.Ramlie tak pernah dapat lesen A sebab tak ada.

11. Ramai orang lelaki takut kalau-kalau mati pucuk. Tapi tak takut
kalau-kalau mati esok. (Mesej berunsur dakwah. Sila duduk tahiyyat
akhir)

zxr750 h ‘91 for sale

Zxr750 h ‘91

Reg. year: 1991

WTS: zx7 H model reg year 91 with basic green color. 3rd gear can reach till
170km/h. top speed can reach 260/280km/h. Reason: Upgrade. Call/pm/sms to
owner at 017-5052556. new DID chain.

Price: RM 15000

RM 15,000






AJAXed with AWP